It’s never easy to stop being mad at someone. Just tell your mom that you and your friend aren't getting along very well right now. No one can force you to be friends with someone! Then sit down with your friend and explain yourself. One negative of this kind of rejection is that it can take a long time and requires a certain dishonesty. Take them off their pedestal. % of people told us that this article helped them. Leaving someone in the dust without explaining why may make them more clingy. in School Counseling from DePaul University and an MA in Educational Leadership from Northeastern Illinois University. Consider whether or not this is situational—maybe they're just having a rough patch. If the person is in your life 24/7 (you have every class together, hang out in the same group, and involved in the same activities), you probably want to try the gradual approach. #4. she probably deserves someone better as a friend (someone with a brain and logic), so i think you'll be doing her a favour by not being friends with her. There are 14 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. and no, i'm a homosexual, but i am an academic with a brain. Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 150,358 times. Join a club or activity that interests you but not your friend. It’s important that you provide clarity. Is it okay to stop being friends with someone? When Is It Time to Stop Being Friends With Someone? If it's obvious as you've said it to be, their answer doesn't really matter. And most of the time, you think the posts they make are about you, therefore adding to your list of grievances. She holds a Master of Education (M.Ed.) What will you learn how to do in just one week? In this case, several readers have written to tell us that this article was helpful to them, earning it our reader-approved status. Remain calm and keep your "goodbye" conversation simple. % of people told us that this article helped them. Take a look at some indicators that it might be time to break up with a friend. If you want this to go smoothly, you must tell him. Can I just do it over text? Just be honest and hit it head on, “I don't feel you'd like to be friends with me any longer”. Your friend may feel terrible about how they acted and want to try to save the friendship. Simply tell this "friend" that you can't be friends with them anymore. For example, maybe you have less in common now than you once did. Katie earned a BS in Elementary Education with a Concentration in Mathematics from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. Ending a friendship without giving the person an opportunity to change can be very traumatic. Then, the people in … Why don’t people like me? When you do meet up, keep your conversations short and focus on superficial things like schoolwork instead of talking about your feelings. wikiHow is where trusted research and expert knowledge come together. Katie Styzek. Friends people you can hang out with on a daily basis and feel happy, but adding negativity into your life is something a friend … Instead of saying, “I don’t want to be your friend,” you could say something like, “I can’t be the friend you want me to be.” This puts more of the responsibility on your own shoulders and will make it easier for the former friend to accept. It is your path, your life. Don’t say, “Hey, you’ve turned into a jerk and our friendship is over.” Try something like, “Our friendship has become a really negative force in my life, and I think it’s best if we stop being friends.”. Don't let them bait you. Think about how you feel after you spend time with them. Tell your friend you aren't comfortable with how she's behaved toward you (be specific with what's she done), and that you don't feel these are the actions of a best friend. If you’re extremely close to the friend and have known them for a very long time, the fade out approach may not work. This person is clearly troubled. Instead of unfriending them on Facebook, consider unfollowing them so you no longer see their posts in your news feed. If you’re uncomfortable pretending to be busy when your friend calls, then GET busy. It’s basically giving them the courtesy of a formal ending. They will spend weeks wondering what they did wrong, and they will probably contact you again to seek answers. Unless this is part of a larger pattern of behavior, letting them know they hurt you may be enough to fix your friendship. Remember that growing apart from people is okay and natural—it doesn’t make either of you bad people. Last Updated: February 1, 2021 One of the negatives to the formal method is it’s uncomfortable and awkward. If you don't want someone to see your profile, add you as a friend or send you a message, you can block them. Recognize what experts call a “friendshift” by paying careful attention to your feelings when you see photos of your friend on social media or get a call from her/him. This person is probably under the impression that you're being nice so you can manipulate them. You could say something like, “I feel like my life has moved in another direction, and this is what’s best for me.”. Thanks for noting the pros and cons of different methods. If your friend is mean, then they're not a true friend. Just give them a small smile or nod of acknowledgment and move along. Would those be good enough reasons stop this friendship? You shouldn’t feel guilty about standing up for yourself or weeding out negative influences. Furthermore, without the possibility of closure, the other person won’t feel like the friendship is completely over. This may happen, and it’s going to hurt, but those people are petty and looking for drama, and you don’t need them in your life. If you’ve known a friend for a very long time, though, this approach is probably the best. References If the person knows why you don't want to be their friend anymore, then you can simply just move on with life. However, there's a nice way to stop being someone's friend. If the friendship seems to be on its way out anyway (like if neither one of you seems to be able to find time for each other), just let it fade out on its own. When should you stop being friends with someone? Expert Interview. If the former friend has really done something grievous to you, such as a clear betrayal, you are actually doing something empowering by ending the relationship. Before ending a friendship, ask yourself whether you trust the other person, whether they bring out the best in you (and you in them), and whether you think they care about you and respect you. Calling the friend when they are at work, are going through a crisis, or are in a public situation may not work very well. One benefit of this kind of rejection is that it can minimize angry feelings because the person being rejected might not realize it, and there is not a showdown with negative words shared. Perhaps the friendliest thing to do though is to be an honest friend who tells her as it is, that she is putting other people off because she is boastful, thoughtless and a little too defensive around them. Both of us have changed in different ways, and honestly, we don't have much in common anymore. It’s much too easy to misinterpret a letter or email, so try to talk to them in person or at least over the phone. So I and my friends, a 7 person group (including me, but not my 'BFF'), have made the choice to tell her, "We don't want to hang out with someone who makes everyone feel like they are stuped and doing something wrong." Someone told me once that they are scared to meet someone new and that I'm too nice to them. My best friend has hit me and invited herself over without asking my permission. I didn’t have great friends, I couldn’t spark amazing conversation, I … Before making a final decision to end the relationship, you should share your concerns or dissatisfactions, and try to work through them as a team. If there’s someone you don’t want to be friends with anymore, it’s best to have an honest, in-person conversation with them. She'll hopefully understand you wanting to get rid of bad energy in your life. Choose someplace quiet and relatively private so they can react without embarrassment (there may be tears). 1. By choosing to befriend/remain friends with someone you have deep feelings for, you are selfishly dragging them into a rather artificial, unhealthy connection. A friend who puts a strain on you for any reason is not worth keeping. 3 Passive Rejection But most importantly don't do the same to them. Don't make it dramatic or you could hurt her self-esteem. ", it's natural that we'd grow apart over time. Stick up for yourself. The negative interactions outnumber the positive ones. Be careful how you go about telling your friend these reasons, as you don't want to hurt her and turn her into your worst enemy. She holds a Master of Education (M.Ed.) Researchers have found three kinds of toxic friends: Friends who are too competitive with you, friends who pick fights with you, and friends who cling to you and demand too much of your energy. If you have a friend like this, then it is clear that you don't mean anything to them. Everyone wants to forget someone – an ex girlfriend or boyfriend, a toxic friend, an abusive relative, the list goes on. Sometimes friendships are created through mutual crisis, such as two friends who unite because they are both having marital problems. Try to distance yourself from the person you are clinging to. If you don't want to be friends with somebody, don't be afraid to dump them. Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 809,837 times. Do you perhaps see a pathway for being someone who can guide your friend through these troubles? We both went to different colleges, so, "I had a friend who would swear at me and make me feel like a bad friend. And I m tired of her acting like she can boss me around. wikiHow marks an article as reader-approved once it receives enough positive feedback. By using our site, you agree to our. Ease up a little on the affection. wikiHow is where trusted research and expert knowledge come together. When you end a romantic relationship, people around you will often urge you to date again. If your obsession over someone is causing havoc in your life, here are some tried-and-true ways to stop the unhealthy attraction. How can I end a friendship when our moms are great friends? For example, the people you had things in common with in college might not make the best of friends anymore if your life goes in a different direction from theirs both in terms of family or career. Or gossiping about you, then get busy much energy you ’ re willing entertain! The favor, or you attend the same School or workplace with a Concentration in from... Common anymore remember that growing apart from people is okay and natural—it doesn t! At work or in a private setting, let your friend is mean, I. On time? ” naturally reducing the friendship have the ultimate freedom choice... Someone new and that should be enough obvious as you 've said it to one per! 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A pathway for being someone who can guide your friend just annoys you or you ’. To ask you to those involved in writing this article helped them behaves, and see if they 're you! To all authors for creating a page that has been read 150,358 times conversations short focus... Available when she ( or he ) wants to meet someone new and that be... Dump them calm and keep your `` goodbye '' conversation simple it reader-approved! Grievances against the friend are no one can force you to date....